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THE 1997 V.A.T.
(Volkswagen Aptitude Test)
Part I: History
1. Bodo Lafferentz was:
a. a Nazi economist.
b. founder of the Baja Rometsch Club.
c. inventor of the Rossi (formerly "Bodo") headlight.
d. famous for being surgically lowered to match his car.
2. Who was Ben Pon?
a. early VW importer.
b. originator of the Cal (formerly "Ben") Look.
c. VW fetishist held hostage by Nicaraguan guerrillas.
d. inventor of chrome-plated tires.
Part II: Language Skills
3. Discuss the significance of the following terms:
a. one-eyed duck
b. new-dash split
c. barn door
d. notchback
e. doghouse
f. stale air
Use at least four of them in a sentence that also contains the German word "Luftkühlung".
4. Discuss the last time you saw a VW with a lacquered floorpan, billet aluminum trailing arms, and chrome-plated
spring plates actually moving down a public highway. Describe the trailer it was riding on.
Part III: Mechanical Ability
5. Using only an adjustable wrench, remove all four lower exhaust flange nuts from a 1200 engine. You have 30 seconds.
6. Without using jumper cables or ether, start a typical 6-volt car on a cold, rainy morning. You must be alone, at the
bottom of a hill.
7. Using only the pliers and screwdriver from a Beetle owner's toolkit, enter a junkyard and completely strip all
hard-to-find parts from a '59 Microbus Deluxe in five minutes. Store them in your garage for twelve years, and sneer
at anyone who offers to buy them.
Part IV: Philosophy
8. Name a VW magazine that doesn't exploit women. You have seven days.
9. Take a '51 Split with 24,000 miles on the odometer. Shave the door handles, chrome, and bumpers. Fill in the
semaphores and french the taillights. Cut the dash for "trick" gauges and louver the decklid. Explain yourself.
10. Using Freudian terms, discuss the reasons for the decline and subsequent re-emergence of the Mulholland Look,
paying special attention to the symbolism of the "whale tail."
STOP. Put down your pencil and hand this test in to the V.A.T. proctor now. Persons receiving the highest score will
be eligible to receive a complete, N.O.S. '68-'72 Bus Safari Window Kit.
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